(Written on the 5th of May 2012)
Look to it, and you’ll find yourself
starving sinking drowning dying
in the endless sands.
It doesn’t matter how you try.
Beauty is in the eye and I
have plentiful weaknesses.
Like caring too much.
The beating sun you so desire
Will never let you run.
Instead, you’ll burn silently, alone.
Only the scorpions see you.
Just try and reach the oasis.
I promise you, you’ll never get there.
(Written on the 27th of November 2009)
are all my deficiencies looking at me.
His words cut through me with the power of pain
as he finds my weaknesses and uses them for gain.
My hair, my weight and the life that I’ve found,
he tears them down and cuts them to the ground.
I look in his eyes and I hate his smile.
How can a human being become so vile?
He looks out the window, and all that I see
are all of his frailties opening to me.
When the game is over and time is out,
all he is shows in a broken-hearted shout.
He’s trapped himself in a world of lies,
using others to disguise his cries.
I look in his eyes and I love his smile.
What would I pay just to fix his trial?
I look in the mirror, and all that I see
is him, giving in and reaching out to me.
No cutting words and no daring façade,
just the truth of how he’s fallen and is starting to fade.
My heart cries out as his eyes call my name
and finally I accept that my hatred is tame.
He looks in my eyes and I focus on his smile.
It’s time to stop what I’ve done in my denial.
He looks into the distance, and all that I see
is my growing fascination right before me.
Maybe I’m not enough to end his pain
but my enemy has called to me and it’s my aim.
The road is hard and the journey is long
but my heart has the power to make weakness strong.
I look in his eyes and draw power from his smile.
I’m not giving up, I’m running this mile.
He looks at me and what do I see?
My new best friend and he’s smiling at me.
(Written in December 2010)
for a girl who needed perfection
to hardly be able to walk.
In nothing there is more pain.
In something there are none.
Imagined stares always change
to the lack of what was had.
I see empty.
(Sometimes, I still believe.)
(Written on the 19th of January 2012)
I wish you would tell me you hate me
Then I would know
Then I would know
I would know
but you refuse to let me go.