Before we get to the fun, a bit of business! Lately on my social media profiles, you may have noticed some fund requests. In June 2014, the Chapter One Young Writers Conference will occur. This conference is run by me and my best writing friends. I am meant to be a speaker this upcoming year, but I do not have the funds to travel to the conference. If you can, please donate! If you'd like to attend, please like the Ch1Con Facebook page to keep up with new developments.
Now, Google is a friend to many people in the world. Not only is it a fantastic search engine, but it also has a number of other useful things, like a translator and maps and a way to keep up with how much blog traffic you're getting and YouTube and also Gmail. I doubt there's a person who doesn't know Google.
Google knows you, too, and the stuff that you like to search. Today, I am going to use Google autocomplete, which finishes your search term based off of both your previous searches and popular searches, to create a post. I'm sure Google is scared of me, to be honest, if it's been keeping up with my stuff, because writers research the strangest things. But anyway, Google is going to ask me questions about writing, and I am going to try to answer!
Do writers make (a lot of) money?
Published ones make money (it is a career), but they only make a lot of money if they have a very successful career. The odds are never in your favor.
Do writers get laid?
As much as the average person does, I imagine. Why are people interested in this? Do you think you're going to get some by becoming a writer? That's not how it works, friend.
Do writers need a business license?
Oh geez. I don't even know the answer to this one. Maybe I should Google it.
Do authors make (good) money?
Do authors need a blog?
No. But it's useful, and it's fun! I recommend it.
Do authors make money from libraries?
When a library buys copies of a book, the designated percentage of earnings as stated in publishing contracts goes to the author, yes. I can't imagine it's much. I mean, if you add up all the libraries ever, maybe. But libraries do a lot of other stuff that benefits writers, and they are all around a better choice than pirating! Do not pirate books.
Do novelists make (any) money?
Geez, I get it. You guys like money.
Do novelists outline/use outlines?
It depends. This is the great planner vs. pantser debate. Planners use outlines. Pantsers don't. Some people stand in between. Your preference depends entirely on you and the story. I am a die-hard pantser because outlines bore me!
How do writers write?
Through osmosis. Honestly, it's a mix of natural talent, natural inclination, hard work, and a lot of learning and practice. I do it because I love it!
How do writers interact with the world?
I direct your attention to Figure A.
Not all writers are introverts, but a lot are. That's how we get so much done. Also, we're all a little bit weird. Look up a famous author. They're probably neurodiverse in some way or have past trauma or something.
Figure B may also help you understand how to be among our kind.
Throw in a dash of Figure C.
Yeah, that basically covers it.
How do writers make money?
Through publication and sales!
How do writers work?
We sit our butt in the chair and write/edit.
How do authors get their ideas?
I actually have a post with a theory about this! It's one of my favorite posts I've ever written. Here! But if you'd rather have a short, down-to-earth answer, I say to you, life. Simply life.
How do authors get paid?
With advances and royalties (and fandom).
How do authors write/make money?
Why d0 writers write?
🤷♀️ We're drawn to it. Here's how I got into it.
Why do writers drink?
So we don't become dehydrated.
Why writers write anchor chart?
Why should writers blog?
a) Because it's fun, b) because it gets you out into the writing community, and c) because it gives you a platform.
Why do authors use irony?
Because we have a wicked sense of humor.
Why do authors write?
Why do authors use figurative language?
To annoy the heck out of kids in English classes. No, because we're geniuses, that's why. Brilliant geniuses who like to use language to the best of its ability.
Why do authors use metaphors?
Because we're sort of addicted to them.
Why do novelists write?
Why are novelists turning to crime?
NOVELISTS, TURNING TO CRIME! TAKING OVER THE STREETS! ROBBING BANKS, KILLING MEN! THE HORROR OF IT ALL! THE POOR CHILDREN! WHY? WHY? WHY?!
Yeah, I know you're talking about crime writers, and for the record, not all of us are.
What writers play poker with castle?
The ones that buffalo potato elephants. I highly suspect this has something to do with a TV show I don't watch.
What do writers read/are writers reading?
Books. All kinds of books. Books in every genre, especially their genre of choice, books that are good, books that are okay, books that are terrible, booky bookitedy books. Also, articles and magazines and comics and Twitter and blogs and cereal boxes and every possible thing in the world. That is what writers read.
What writers influenced Charles Dickens?
Huh. Let's ask him. Or actually, since he's dead, I'll Google it... Apparently the answer is Henry Fielding, Daniel Defoe, and Oliver Goldsmith, whoever they are.
What authors have appeared on Castle?
This definitely has to do with a TV show I don't watch.
What do authors do?
We auth. Occasionally authorize. And once in a blue moon, we also authoritate.
What authors died in 2012?
Well, I don't know. Let's see. Ah, here we go.
What authors influenced Shakespeare?
The answer to this would appear to be, a bunch of Greek and Roman guys. Fair enough.
When do novelists sober up?
Unfortunately, my friends, this means we're about to turn to crime.
When do authors attack (salon)/establish conflict?
When we're sober, obviously.
Where do writers win?
"ROBIN! GET IN THE BATMOBILE! WE'RE GOING TO THE LIBRARY!"
Where do writers write?
It depends on the writer, to be honest. I'll write just about anywhere, but I'm more flexible than most. Some authors have rituals and stuff, a special desk, etc. I'm most comfortable writing in bed listening to music.
Where do writers meet?
Online. Or at conferences. Or both!
Where do writers work?
This is similar to the "where writers write" question, but a lot of writers also have day jobs, and those vary widely. Soooo widely.
Where do authors write/get their ideas?
Where do authors exhibit unedited work?
Well, wherever they want to, I suppose. There are lots of good writing communities out there with readers and writers and editors, ready to help out. But I recommend that all writers edit their work a bit before showing it to others.
Where do authors collide?
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