Today, we're looking through my diaries for the events of my life that occurred on February 1st throughout the years. I don't think I've done the first of any month before, so that's kinda cool! For anyone interested, the previous installment (September 7) can be found here.
February 1st, 2000, Five Years Old
I drew a picture of my doll "Carm" outside a little house.
No February 1st entry in 2001, 2002, or 2003.
February 1st, 2004, Nine Years Old
My youngest brother threw up. I worked on making valentines for my friends.
February 1st, 2005, Ten Years Old
I had a fight with one of my friends--no details written about it.
February 1st, 2006, Eleven Years Old
I was somehow "off schedule" and not interested in writing much. However, I'd gotten some beta reader critiques on #DragonStory and an invitation to my best friend's birthday party that I put in my journal.
February 1st, 2007, Twelve Years Old
In art class, I worked on a "box' of some kind that I was not satisfied with, and my friends and I joked around. We made fun of my crush's haircut a little--because boy haircuts are always so awkward at first. In science class, there were presentations, but I wasn't called up. That's all I wrote that day, though, because I was busy.
February 1st, 2008, Thirteen Years Old
I was very excited to be done with January. A kid threw up in my crush's backpack on the bus. In language arts class, we worked on "packets" and talked about an upcoming school basketball game. In social studies, we had a midterm, which I had no trouble with, and then we did some fake stock trading on our computers. In health class, we talked about anger management, and I mused about how, in my opinion, fear and love are both stronger than anger. I enjoyed myself in orchestra and made it through a math quiz without trouble. Lunch/recess were also fun. Science class was fine, and in journalism class, the teacher took us to watch the basketball game, which I was happy about, despite my lack of knowledge, skill, and interest in sports in general.
February 1st, 2009, Fourteen Years Old
This was a Sunday, and I had no real comment, just a few lists of upcoming events.
February 1st, 2010, Fifteen Years Old
My cat Angel had torn up my hands the night before, which caused me a little trouble. My before-school church lesson was normal. I struggled to stay awake in Spanish class and ate some of my lunch during U.S. History as a remedy. We watched an empowering movie about the suffragettes. I argued a little with my Algebra II teacher about my test grade, and we came to a compromise. During orchestra, I was frustrated about my mistakes but had a fun exchange with friends. I slept on the bus home.
February 1st, 2011, Sixteen Years Old
I was angry that school wasn't cancelled, because snow and cold were setting off my fibromyalgia badly. I was also worried about some potential comorbid conditions my doctor was testing for. I was still in my grieving period post-diagnosis, so I wasn't doing well in general.
I skipped the before-school church lesson. I had a lot of trouble with a Pre-Calculus quiz because of being sick and was unable to finish it during class. I tried to go to my AP English class, but I started crying, so the teacher sent me to the nurse's office. I stayed there for a couple of class periods with a hot water bottle, and a couple of my friends came in and out for their own issues. Finally, I asked the nurse to let me go home, and she did. At home, I got butt-dialed by my mom, which was funny, and I sat in bed with my heating pad and ate and read some books for an AP English project.
February 1st, 2012, Seventeen Years Old
I woke up to find my mom crying about the end of Mockingjay, which made me laugh because crying (and reading) were so unusual for her. (She has never forgiven me for that laugh.) I had a cold, my hips were giving me some trouble, and I was tired, so I skipped my before-school church lesson. In my poetry class, we examined Beowulf. During my free period, I finished an edit on #ChosenFour2. I hung out with my friends at lunch, In choir, we had sectionals, so we altos had some fun together. Later, in the evening, the orchestra played at the ribbon-cutting for our new school building. My mom couldn't find her keys, so I barely got there in time.
February 1st, 2013, Eighteen Years Old
I was in an extremely bad mood, partly because of some query letter rejections I'd gotten (bringing my total to 83), partly because of an ongoing mental health breakdown. I skipped my math class to take stock of my writerly situation. I was bored by poetry analysis during my gen ed English class and bored by my music theory class, but my two choir classes were fine. I had a mini panic attack about my face, and then my best friend at college finally coaxed me out of my room. I hung out with my friends until two a.m., and they cheered me up a good bit.
February 1st, 2014, Nineteen Years Old
It was a Saturday, and I read a lot instead of doing my homework. Then I Skyped my mom and cried about a temple attendance requirement in my religion class that I didn't think my fibro would allow, and about my worsening fibromyalgia in general, and about how alone I felt, and about how much I missed my family and our cats. I was really struggling, and I questioned whether I was supposed to be at college at all. In that call, we decided I was going to go home for the next semester and just take a few classes online. We also decided I needed to get an emotional support cat.
February 1st, 2015, Twenty Years Old
I forgot it was Sunday, so I missed part of church. I worried a little that my faith and my morality might just be my OCD (which isn't true). I also thought about how far I'd come in my mental health. My fibromyalgia, however, was still giving me trouble, as I had a cold coming on. I spent the rest of the day reading and napping.
February 1st, 2016, Twenty-One Years Old
At home before my last semester of college, I was struggling with my obsessive fear of sex. However, I had a little epiphany about how I can have power in my future sexual relationship, and the power doesn't have to all be on the guy's side. That helped some. My brother and I caught up on The Flash, and I weathered another fibromyalgia flare that warned of a coming snowstorm.
February 1st, 2017, Twenty-Two Years Old
My chronic illness crisis eased up a little bit this week, for which I was grateful. I was having a lot of nightmares, though.
February 1st, 2018, Twenty-Three Years Old
I was recovering from a cold, and I was unhappy with all the excessively pedantic scientific research I had to read for my library science class. I was also preparing to see a urogynecologist in a city about two hours away, though I doubted she could help with my interstitial cystitis.
February 1st, 2019, Twenty-Four Years Old
I was struggling a little with an OCD flareup and working to catch up on my reading goal. That evening, Mom and I attended a training session for parents of autistic people. It was interesting! People with autism can be so different from each other symptomatically speaking (and in general, like all people, LOL).
February 1st has been a bit of a rough one, hasn't it? The joys of winter. I'm doing all right today, though.
Thanks for reading! Next week's post will be the monthly "taking stock" update.
Images via my files, jimgade on Pixabay, and my files.
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