Sage O'Riley from #ChosenFourStory and her post on How to Deal with Your Author won the poll. However, to be fair to the many who voted otherwise, next time, Mandy Gale from #PsychicStory will be doing a guest post on stereotypes along with Darren Beamer.
Thanks for hanging in there, and enjoy the Sage!
Hello. Sage O'Riley here.
Before you "normal" people start saying things like "Wait, you know you're a book character?" and "That must be weird," let me just cut in and say the answer to all of your questions is yes. Yes, I know I'm a book character. Yes, it's weird, but probably no weirder than it is for people who know they're being guided by God. Except God is perfect, and authors are not, which is why I'm here to tell any other character who happens to have been granted real-life computer access how to deal with them.
Yes, I've been freed from the cage of Kira's head in order to tell you How to Deal with Your Author.
Now shut up and let me talk.
In order to understand this post, you first have to understand the unfortunate mind of the author. I don't know for sure how it is for other authors and stories, but this is how it worked for us. Me and the others with our story, were out there kind of floating in the universe, not completely formed. It was like... like in that book The BFG, where dreams float around in the air.
Shut up. I like kids' books. I like all books. If you know anything about books, this makes total sense. Let me talk.
So Kira is especially in tune with these ideas floating around, and when we came by, things clicked. We picked her, she picked us, whatever. Either way, idea met author. Kira started writing from the base idea that had come to her, and that is how we came to exist as full-blown human beings. Yes, for you "normal" people, characters are human beings. Unless they're elves or dwarves or something. In any case, we have minds of our own once we've been created. Any good character out there knows this.
Once we became full characters, the situation changed. Now we and Kira had to work as equal partners in the story. Any of you who know me at all know how much I hate having to collaborate. But that's how it is creating fiction. Kira controls the situation; we control our reactions.
So yes, I know I'm a character. I've had to work with this ridiculous author for the past five years, although luckily, the main writing part was over in one. We characters live the life Kira makes for us, the same way you "normal" people live in this universe controlled by God, or science, or whatever it is you believe. The part where we're actually characters doesn't come into the actual story, but that's how the story is made. I've gotten in plenty of arguments about how things should go. But like in your lives, we don't have power over what happens, just over what we do. I hate Kira because she can change things I can't, but I'm also forever grateful to her for bringing me to life and telling my story. It's freaking confusing.
With all that understood, here are my tips for other characters on how to deal with your author.
1) One thing you might not know about authors is that they are fantastic at torturing characters. That's their job, after all. There's no story if nothing's at stake. Unfortunately, that really sucks for us.
Did you think Kira was all sweet and innocent? Not when it comes to us. Actually, she has stated on many occasions that I'm one of her favorite characters to mess with. She loves to see how I'll react to all the crap she throws at me, and frankly, it drives me nuts. I'm pretty sure there's something wrong with her that makes her like this, but I don't know what it is.
When an author throws a challenge at you, unfortunately, you have to take it and run. There's no way to avoid it--and your entire purpose as a character is to react. Kira does know what she's doing, I guess, so in the end, it'll work out for me. She's decently benevolent when it comes to endings. I can't guarantee that for everyone, though.
2) Every once in a while, writers get off their game in the middle of a story. This actually happened in my series twice, although it was during the third book, so it was mostly Hunter's problem, not mine. When that happens, though, the problem might be that the author is not listening to you.
At that point, authors usually lose it a little. It's good to stay out of their way, as hard as that might seem. It's tempting as a character to yell at them even more. But writers are stubborn idiots, and they have to figure it out themselves. Eventually, they'll realize they've had their hands over their ears, and they'll start listening to you again.
We characters are real people. We are not going to cooperate if the author starts trying to make us do something we wouldn't actually do. So they have to get off their high horse and let us have the reactionary power. They already have the situational power, and that NEEDS to be enough for them!
3) If you are a character in the above situation, once the author remembers you, start talking, but be patient. You might have to work backwards to help them figure out where they went wrong. The worst part of this is that all you characters involved are going to have to work together. Yes, even with your mortal enemy. It sucks,. But books don't work unless all characters have their say. Writers have to listen to both the angel and the devil on their shoulders. And by devil. I completely and totally mean Quinn.
I could probably go on for days, but that's the basics. Ta da! Tips for dealing with authors.
Because--for all you "normal" people, I swear this is true--they suuuuuuck.
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