Today's post is going to be a mess, and it's also a day late, in case you didn't notice. My apologies for that. This past week was nuts, not to mention, I got an idea for a new post Friday night, didn't write it down (I don't usually need to), and had forgotten it by morning. The idea has not returned, so yeah. You have been deprived, I don't know what of, but I am terribly sorry.
This next week for me is finals, which tells you a lot of why last week was crazy. Finals week is never that big of a deal for me; it's kind of a relief, actually. The two weeks before finals are always the worst because of all the projects and stuff that are due then. I've had a rough go of it, because on top of all the said projects (all of which were slightly out of my comfort zone and had Codi throwing a tantrum), I've been sick. A terrible case of food poisoning, thanks to a Navajo taco, that lasted for about four weeks. I've only just recovered, and I am exhausted.
Not that that's new. Fibromyalgia is, after all, a chronic pain and fatigue disorder. It is a rare moment when I'm not tired, although said moment is not quite as rare as the moment when I'm not in pain. I don't really know when the last time was that I wasn't in some kind of pain. I'm also hungry a lot, but that's really just a me-thing.
But it looks like the worst is over, really, because I'm not sick anymore and I've turned in all the big scary projects. As I said in my last post, Tuesday in particular was just a weird day: BYU-Idaho got a bomb threat through Yik Yak (the dude got arrested) and then there was a tornado warning, so I hid in the bathroom with a very annoyed Spartacus for a while. Or was that Wednesday? Oh, yes, Wednesday. The 15th. When I posted that post.
Other updates for y'all. Let me see. I do have an announcement to make about my future career path plan, but I've got a future post planned for that.
Oh! My best friend LaPriel just got back from her 18-month LDS mission! Her blog details her adventures there. If you're at all curious, feel free to read it. She's having an adjustment getting back into "civilian life," but we've been talking on the phone lots and it's so nice to hear her voice. I've got about a billion things to tell her about, since she was gone for eighteen months and I have very few other friends, and it's been nuts because I can't even keep track of all the things I want to say.
It'll be a relief to go home and actually see her in person, because it doesn't totally feel real yet, and Codi is taking way advantage of that. One of the beautiful things about OCD is that it is expert at finding any chinks in your mental armor and abusing them to death. I've got Codi under so much more control than I did in elementary/middle/high school (all of that just seems like a weird nightmare now, really), but I'll always have to fight to keep her out of the new chinks that appear.
In this case, it's an old-chink-renewed: when LaPriel first left, I was so terrified that during her mission, she'd realize that I was unworthy of her friendship and a bad influence and I don't know what even else, just the usual insecurities that have plagued me my whole life. With her back, the fear has renewed itself. Mostly in the form of nightmares, which I get almost every night anyway, but it's bleeding over into real life so I'm actually feeling pretty anxious right now. As always with OCD, I know better logically, but my feelings just aren't on board. I relapsed some on the trichotillomania compulsion this week in part due to that. But I just keep telling myself that it'll be fine and I know when I see LaPriel, Codi will have to shut up.
There are so many things I want to do this summer (which, for me, is from next week until September 14th), and I know I won't have the time! I want to spend lots of time with LaPriel. I'm going to Ch1Con again this year on August 8th (register now if you haven't already: we've got a giveaway running and everything!), so I'll get to see all my wonderful writing friends whom I've only ever met in person once before, and it'll be great. It'll be my last time at Ch1Con, which is sad, but I'll be too old in summer 2016. I've got a lot of TV to watch with my brothers. Oh, and I'm going to have to fight to keep Zoey away from Spartacus, because, just like last time, she'll be wanting to murder him, and I don't want to get bit and end up in the hospital again. Then I've got COCA to edit, which I am desperate to do. I meant to start it ages ago, but school got all up in my business. Not to mention, the new town library is opening and it looks super nice and I'm so excited to go there and also it's so much better than my school library, so I'll be trying to fit in as much reading from their selection as I can. Oh, and I want to try and figure out how to cook a bit more, and I hope to get a chance to drive places, because I feel like it's time to finally totally get over my avoidance compulsion with driving.
So yes, clearly, a lot of things and they're probably not all going to get done. Right now, it all looks kind of overwhelming. If I weren't anxious about Priel and if I had food in the house, it probably wouldn't, but there you have it. Such are the joys of my life!
Your word for the day is "ultimately," because I realized Friday that I can't stop using that word in my essays. It's my new word trend for the moment.
So this has been your post for today, and it's totally random, and I am sorry, but I don't have anything else to talk about. Thanks for reading! I'll see you next time for a new list of book recommendations.
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